Best way to approach the big day: Be thoughtful and enjoy the Macarena
Not being present is 'the biggest mistake you can make'
On Reddit, the popular social news website, users seek stock tips, travel advice and information on matters ranging from banal to ludicrous. A question raised within the subreddit (or community) called “r/weddingplanning,” asked people to recall snafus from their special day.
One user described not having enough people to lift her husband in the chair during dancing. Another person recalled the glass not breaking under the chuppah. Scattered within the thread are stories of lost rings, wrong playlists and off-script speeches.
Mishaps make good posts, but in real life, accidents, freak weather patterns and other unexpected episodes are rarely enjoyable, according to local event planners.
Margie Stang has worked in the industry for nearly 20 years.
One of the best things people can do is “hire a planner,” she said.
A coordinator is responsible for overseeing the details. So whether it’s ensuring the venue has enough power to avoid a fuse blowing midway through the bash, or confirming that the guest list includes everyone’s table assignment — because someone is going to lose their seating card — there are countless things to consider, she said.
Shari Zatman, owner of Perfectly Planned by Shari, also recommends hiring an expert. Zatman has more than two decades of experience planning, designing and producing weddings and events.
For celebrants, the stress of managing every responsibility often leads to “not being present, and that’s the biggest mistake you can make,” Zatman said.
Without a planner, the bride, groom or host can be running around a space setting up decorations, monitoring their watch with a schedule in hand, or intermittently approaching the booth midway through the Macarena to remind the DJ about which Uncle Chaim is cutting the challah.
Stang and Zatman both told the Chronicle they know that not everyone is going to hire a party planner.
If someone chooses to manage their own affair, make sure to ask “every question,” Stang said.
Also, especially important is starting the ceremony on time. “People are coming to celebrate, they’re not coming to wait.”
When it comes to the big day, one of the biggest faux pas is beginning the ceremony later than expected, according to The Knot, a wedding planning website.
Tensions can be high and “there’s very little room for error,” an industry expert told the Chronicle.
People often have dream scenarios, but reality has to be considered, Zatman said. It’s nice to have a beautiful outdoor setting, but what happens when it rains and there’s no backup plan? Tents can’t always be rented the same day, and even if someone says, “We’ll just go inside,” is there enough room? Are there enough chairs? Is there an aisle? Can a chuppah be transported?

Squirrel Hill resident Tzi Friedman has managed countless scenarios in the years since becoming a professional photographer.
Though weather is often unpredictable, other aspects are easier to tackle, he said.
Styles and tastes vary, so when choosing a photographer, “it’s important to partner with someone that can help you make memories you want for years to come,” Friedman said.
Once a photographer is selected, make use of that person’s time and expertise, he continued. “Be upfront about what kinds of pictures you want, who the VIPs are and what special moments are going to happen. A prepared photographer can focus on how to capture the best shot instead of figuring out which pictures to take.”
If it feels like there’s a lot of decisions to make, it’s because there are. Zola, a wedding planning site, estimates couples make more than 500 choices leading up to an event.
Picking a venue is a big one. After locating the perfect place, one Reddit user described arriving at their wedding only to discover that the high school next door was hosting a marching band competition at the same time.
Picolos, snare drums and tubas aren’t always avoidable. When it comes to preparing for the big day — or simply going about life — the best advice is approaching each situation thoughtfully, Zatman said. “Think about your decisions.” PJC
Adam Reinherz can be reached at areinherz@pittsburghjewishchronicle.org.
comments