Letters to the editor

Show up for those who mourn
I recently attended an event hosted by The Beacon and The Friendship Circle, where Rabbi Suzanne Offit spoke to the community about how to respond to suicide loss (“Rabbi Suzanne Offit brings suicide loss support and healing message to Pittsburgh,” May 1). Support is about the community creating a safe place for the grieving family and continuing to act in meaningful ways. At first glance, this seems like an easy task, but when you dig deeper, there are so many layers to grief — and especially grief related to suicide — that we need to address before we jump in with our compassionate hearts and begin to act.

I am writing this letter as somebody who has experienced loss: My first husband died from a blood cancer.

Our Pittsburgh Jewish community is truly special and we can do extraordinary things together; but we must be aware and careful when we reach out to others, and be deliberate with our words and actions.

Rabbi Offit explained that those who come to comfort are responsible for words of comfort, no matter how awkward it may feel. Whenever I hear someone say, “This is so sad, there are no words,” I get upset. Of course there are words! Tell the person who is grieving how you will miss their loved one, or what a wonderful person they were, or simply share a memory.

It is so important to show others how you feel by showing up — to be close and present. Words are powerful. Your presence is powerful. Our community can be powerful.

Ella Zeilinger Ziff
Pittsburgh