Building something meaningful

Next Wednesday is the 15th day of the Av, a special date on the Jewish calendar often associated with marriage.

We’ve all witnessed this scene many times:

The glass is shattered and the chuppah is over. Mazal Tov!

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You can feel the joyous energy. The singing begins. The dancing starts. Everyone is celebrating.

But have you ever wondered why the happiest moment of a wedding is signaled by the breaking of a glass?

The broken glass reminds us of the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash. It seems like strange timing. Why bring sadness into

the middle of such a joyful celebration?

Because Judaism teaches that breaking is not the end of the story. The broken glass doesn’t only remind us of what was lost. It reminds us that throughout Jewish history, moments of breaking have become the beginning of rebuilding.

Chazal teach that before we’re born, husband and wife begin as one soul. That soul is split into two — a male and a female — each sent on their own journey.

At first, the separation seems painful. Each half has lost something.

So why would Hashem split a soul that was meant to be one?

Imagine if it had never been split. There would be no search. No growth. No choosing one another.

Instead, each person develops into who they are meant to become. Then they meet again under the chuppah — not simply because they belong together, but because they choose one another.

The separation makes the reunion deeper. That’s why the joy is so intense.

The pat0tern is the same every time: first comes the breaking, then the growth and finally the reunion.

The broken glass connects a couple’s personal story to the story of the Jewish people.

Our sages tell us that despite the sadness and pain associated with the 9th of Av, this is the birthday of Moshiach, our future redeemer (Jerusalem Talmud, Berachot 2:4).

Our sages tell of a great rabbi traveling with an Arab who understood the “language” of animals. A cow made a sound, and the Arab said, “The Beit Hamikdash has just been destroyed.” A short while later, the cow cried out again, and he said, “The Jewish Moshiach has just been born.”

In Judaism, the moment of destruction already contains the seed of redemption.

In another Talmudic story, we are told of Rabbi Akiva visiting Jerusalem with three colleagues after the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash. When they saw the ruins, the others cried. Rabbi Akiva smiled.

Rabbi Akiva was not oblivious. He mourned too. Like the others, he tore his clothing. So why was he smiling?

He explained that seeing the prophecy of destruction fulfilled so completely strengthened his certainty that the prophecies of redemption would also be fulfilled.

Everyone else saw what had been destroyed. Rabbi Akiva saw what was already beginning.

The same idea appears in a remarkable story about the Lubavitcher Rebbe and Elie Wiesel.

Elie Wiesel, the Auschwitz survivor, author and moral voice, once told the Rebbe that he didn’t want to get married. He couldn’t imagine bringing children into a world where Auschwitz had happened.

The Rebbe answered that Hitler wanted there to be fewer Jews. The greatest response to destruction is creation. Another family. Another generation. Another Jew living proudly as a Jew.

Wiesel eventually married, and when his son Elisha was born, the Rebbe sent a large bouquet of flowers to the bris.

Every Jewish wedding declares that love is stronger than separation.

Every mitzvah declares that holiness is stronger than destruction.

Every Jewish child born, every act of Torah, every commitment to put on tefillin, light Shabbat candles, give our children a Jewish education, every moment of Jewish pride says the same thing:

We are still building. That’s what the broken glass means.

It doesn’t only remind us of what we lost. It reminds us of what we are creating.

Shabbat Shalom! PJC

Rabbi Yitzi Goldwasser is co-director of Chabad of Greenfield. This column is a service of the Vaad Harabonim of Greater Pittsburgh.