Mother of hostage held in Gaza for 505 days tells Pittsburghers to stay positive and promote love
Disagreements in Israel and across the Diaspora must not be consumed by anger, Shelly Shem Tov says. 'The most important thing is that we need to love each other'
With her constant cries for unity, and safe return of all hostages taken on Oct. 7, 2023, Shelly Shem Tov became a familiar face to those following news in Israel. Shem Tov, whose son Omer was abducted by Hamas terrorists from the Nova music festival and held captive for 505 days, described efforts to secure his freedom and the blessing of seeing him come home.
Relying on photographs, videos and vignettes, Shem Tov, 52, told more than 200 Pittsburghers how she and her husband, Malki, were among the founders of the Hostages and Missing Families Forum, an organization assembled in the aftermath of Oct. 7 to support families and advocate for their loved ones’ return.
A stark realization spurred the formation of the group.
“Nobody was answering us — not the police, not the army — no one,” Shem Tov said, “We are together. We have the power to bring Omer back.”
Even before joining forces with fellow families of abductees, Shem Tov said she prayed. “I went to Omer’s room, and I locked his door, and I started to speak with God, and I told him, ‘God, I don’t have control about the things that happened to Omer, but please, let me understand what is in my control.’”
Shem Tov sat on her son’s bed and gained an understanding.
“It appeared to me,” she said. “Positive thinking creates positive reality.”
When she opened her eyes, she saw a messy bedroom. Shem Tov resolved to leave the room as is, and told her husband and their two other children not to clean it either.
“Omer is coming back home, and he will arrange his room by himself,” she said.
Later that evening, Shem Tov reentered her son’s room. She placed masking tape over the light switch and wrote in Hebrew “Do not turn off the light.”
For 505 days, Omer’s room stayed lit. When he finally returned home following his Feb. 22, 2025, release, the Shem Tovs held a party. After everybody left, Shelly Shem Tov told her son to go to his room.
He didn’t clean it, she said to a chuckling audience at Shaare Torah Congregation, but he “took the clothes from the floor and put them in the washing machine.”
The next thing Omer did was remove the “masking tape, and he turned off the light,” Shem Tov said. That moment “was pure happiness.”
Throughout her Nov. 23 address, Shem Tov recounted various attempts to secure release of the hostages, including meeting President Donald Trump. These efforts, along with regular addresses at global events, made Shem Tov a recognizable member of the Hostages and Missing Families Forum. Still, she credited partners worldwide with aiding the endeavor and implored Pittsburghers to continue helping bring back the three deceased hostages in Gaza: Dror Or, Master Sgt. Ran Gvili and Sudthisak Rinthalak.
Shortly before Shem Tov’s Pittsburgh speech, The Times of Israel reported the Hostages and Missing Families Forum will shut its Tel Aviv offices and offer “remaining financial resources” to the Or, Gvili and Rinthalak families, “who will decide for themselves how to spend the funds.”
For Pittsburghers, Shem Tov’s visit marked another point in a surreal period. Between the Oct. 7, 2023, abduction of 251 people and the Oct. 8, 2025, ceasefire announcement, local residents routinely gathered on the corner of Darlington Road and Murray Avenue in Squirrel Hill to sing, pray and highlight the hostages’ plight in Gaza while demanding their safe return.
Shem Tov acknowledged those efforts.
“We couldn’t do it without you,” she said. “Thank you for everything you did for us, for being our voice, week after week, for praying for Omer, for us, for being supportive, for speaking.” Despite 6,000 miles separating Pittsburgh and Israel, “you feel my pain, and you pray for me and for my Omer.” The hugs now exchanged at home, “you have a part of that.”
Shem Tov told attendees the connections created, and the goodwill offered in the aftermath of horror, must not cease.
“We are writing, now, the history — and it’s not only the history of Israel, it’s the history of Am Yisrael (the Jewish nation).” This story should be driven by a power to be “united, to be good to each other, to understand each other — even when we don’t agree.” Disagreements in Israel and across the Diaspora must not be consumed by anger, she continued. “The most important thing is that we need to love each other.”
Two years of activity instilled certain lessons, Laura Cherner explained.
Speaking to attendees of the Nov. 23 program, the Community Relations Council director of the Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh said that by attending hostage gatherings, donning yellow pins, hanging up posters or “not letting people forget that they’re human beings being held,” Pittsburghers continued shining light on the issue.
Squirrel Hill resident Wendy Levin-Shaw called Shem Tov’s remarks inspiring and said they were another reminder to “support people who are living through this.”
Fellow Squirrel Hill resident David Levy agreed, and said, “It’s the minimum we can do.” PJC
Adam Reinherz can be reached at areinherz@pittsburghjewishchronicle.org.
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