Local Conservative rabbis respond to new intermarriage report

Rabbi Alex Greenbaum would have liked more from the Joint Intermarriage Working Group report issued jointly by the Conservative Movement’s Rabbinic Assembly, the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism and the Cantors Assembly.

“It’s an apology with no action,” said Greenbaum, rabbi of Beth El Congregation of the South Hills. “An apology is better than nothing, though, so I do think it’s a step forward.”

The report, released in December, cited a need for the Conservative movement to move from “disappointment” to “engagement” when it comes to intermarried couples.

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“The fact is that 75% of our children are intermarrying,” Greenbaum said, “and the movement has failed to keep up with the times.”

The Conservative movement traditionally disapproved of intermarriage, the report said, noting that “the standard of practice froze conversations for five decades.”

That attitude meant that the movement has not kept pace with an evolving culture in North America and other parts of the world, according to the report.

“We acknowledge that our movement’s historical stance has resulted in hurt, alienation, and disconnection from our community,” it states. “We deeply apologize. We are committed to addressing the harm caused by our past categorical disapproval of multi-heritage and interfaith marriages and repairing these relationships.”

The movement is now beginning the process of teshuvah, the report said.

The working group spent nearly a year learning about the movement’s approach to intermarriage, conducting “a broad survey sent to over 100,000 people, which resulted in over 1,200 responses,” the report states. “It commissioned thirteen informal position papers from historians, social scientists, and rabbis. And it conducted nearly forty individual and group interviews to learn directly about the experience of people in our communities.”

Four themes and values are recommended by the report:

• The need to move from disappointment to engagement, allowing the movement to “move forward in engaging intermarried couples and families.”

• The need to emphasize the value proposition of Jewish living, empowering “the individual to articulate for themselves the kind of Jewish life they seek to lead. If they seek a partner, their goal would be to find a partner aligned with that vision of Jewish life.”

• The value of the movement’s “expansive, creative and relevant Halakhah,” which it said “already contains the necessary ingredients to address the needs of our constituents.”

• The authority of clergy is derived from relationships allowing spiritual leaders to use the “rituals, tools, and teachings to engage people of all backgrounds to deepen their commitment to Jewish living and family life.”

The report also includes four steps for the movement:

• Acknowledge the hurt in the community.

• The creation of ritual options to “welcome, bless, and affirm couples with one Jewish partner and one partner who, while not formally Jewish, is firmly committed to co-creating an exclusively Jewish household.”

• Offering those interested in conversion “accelerated, accessible, and personalized pathways to inclusion in Am Yisrael” and recognizing “the delicate balance between ensuring that non-Jewish partners are aware of the option to convert while avoiding undue pressure.”

• And reframing the conversation on intermarriage, creating a curriculum “that explores what Jewish marriage means broadly (i.e., values, commitments, covenant, continuity, sacred partnership, and communal responsibility).”

What it doesn’t do is offer the possibility of Jewish clergy marrying interfaith couples. Congregation Beth Shalom Rabbi Seth Adelson doesn’t think it should.

“I believe that the most important element of the Conservative movement is that we must remain zealously committed to practicing Judaism as it has unfolded throughout our history,” he said. “I do not believe that Conservative rabbis should be officiating intermarriages.”

Nonetheless, Adelson said he will continue to be as welcoming as he can to interfaith families.

“When an interfaith couple asks me to marry them without conversion, my answer will still be, ‘I’m sorry, that I cannot do, but we will embrace you at Beth Shalom in all the other ways that we can. We want you to feel loved and welcome here,’” he said.

In fact, the rabbi said, many interfaith couples are members of the congregation and are “engaged and involved members of the community.” Those families include “non-Jewish parents who have committed to raising their children as Jews.”

Greenbaum said his congregation is committed to “extraordinary inclusion.”

The South Hills rabbi said that many interfaith couples already have made adjustments based on the historic position of the Conservative movement, and he offers them a ceremonial blessing after they are wed.

“Since the pandemic, approximately 75% of the couples I work with have already been married in a civil ceremony beforehand, and I perform a Jewish ceremony for an interfaith couple,” he said.

USCJ President Andy Schaer, a Pittsburgh native, seems to agree with Greenbaum’s approach, saying the intermarriage report doesn’t issue “one-size-fits-all recommendations.”

Instead, Schaer said, it calls for “a careful review of existing policies, new resources, and greater trust in clergy to make thoughtful decisions based on Halakhah, relationships, and the norms of their communities.”

The hope, he said, is that clergy will have the tools and license to “meet intermarrying couples where they are, help them explore the meaning and value of Jewish living, and support them in building Jewish homes.”

Schaer understands that for some the report comes too late, but for many others, he said, “this moment can still make a real difference.”

Conservative rabbis, he said, serve as mara d’atra, spiritual guides for their communities, understanding the nuances where they serve, each congregation with its own character and spirit.

“We don’t rush change,” Schaer said, “but we don’t stop growing, either. That process is what gives our movement its energy and its hope.”

For both Adelson and Greenbaum — whose positions on interfaith marriage differ — the end result is the same.

“I’m committed to helping the interfaith couples in our midst,” Adelson said, “accompanying them on their Jewish journeys, asking them to raise Jewish children and do whatever it takes to raise a Jewish family. That’s where I feel like the Conservative community should be.”

Greenbaum said that despite his criticism, he’s impressed with the report and the movement’s willingness to apologize. At the end of the day, though, he said, Beth El will continue to do what it has always done.

“We’re doing everything we can do within the limits of the movement to honor our commitment to extraordinary inclusion,” he said.

The Chronicle reached out to Rabbi Jeffrey Myers of Tree of Life, who was unable to respond before our publication deadline. The Chronicle also reached out to Rabbi Jonathan Perlman of New Light, who declined to comment. PJC

David Rullo can be reached at drullo@pittsburghjewishchronicle.org.