The exit interview: Rabbi Sharyn Henry

Sharyn Henry was eager to show off the room where she would be speaking to the Chronicle during her final interview as rabbi of Rodef Shalom Congregation.

Formerly the senior rabbi’s office, the large, comfortable space was filled with books, seats to lounge, good lighting and a beverage station. Henry had taken the initiative in transforming the room from one that served a single individual into one that is welcoming and accessible to anyone in the congregation who wants to use it.

That’s clearly been a theme of Henry’s rabbinate: Making space for others.

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Henry, who has been a rabbi at Rodef Shalom since 2004, will be retiring at the end of the month, marking the end of a career that has focused on improving the lives of her congregants. She served as a rabbi with Senior Rabbis Marc N. Staitman, then Aaron Bisno, but she began her tenure at the Reform congregation in 1999 as the religious school principal, then the youth and education director. Before joining Rodef Shalom, she was a rabbi and educator at Temple Ohav Shalom in Allison Park.

And before she came to the Pittsburgh area, she was the assistant rabbi at The Temple, Congregation B’nai Jehudah in Overland Park, Kansas, and the first full-time female rabbi in Kansas City.

If life had gone slightly differently, Henry may not have ended up in the rabbinate.

When she was 23, and living in Columbus, Ohio, she casually asked her best friend if she thought Henry would make a good rabbi. Her friend said yes. If Henry had asked someone else, or if her friend had said no, Henry might have chosen a different path.

But maybe not.

She has always had a love for Judaism, she said, as well as synagogue services. Growing up, her family was affiliated with a Reform congregation in Cleveland, but at one point, she said, she “influenced my parents to join the Conservative synagogue around the corner from our house.”

She became a regular attendee there, and part of “the little youth corral” along with several friends.

Her parents, though, were less enthused about the Conservative congregation and soon returned to their Reform synagogue. There, Henry remained active, as she was “always interested in Jewish learning” throughout her high school years, she said.

While she was “disconnected” from Judaism during her time at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, after graduation, she took a six-month trip to Israel where she was inspired by the learning and commitment of some of the religiously observant people she met there.

“And then six months later, I just asked my friend, ‘Do you think I’d be a good rabbi?’”

“I never looked back,” Henry said.

During her time as rabbi at Rodef Shalom, Henry has worked to make congregational life “more intimate, definitely less formal,” Henry said. “Those are the things I’m proud of.”

Services at Rodef Shalom used to be 35 minutes long, with a lot of English and not much participation from the congregation, Henry said. There was a four-person quartet, which Henry praised, but she envisioned something more.

Henry collaborated with Don Megahan, the congregation’s music director, to introduce various styles of music, she said, and now “people participate.” Over the years services have “evolved to the place where, for the last two years, we’ve had a cantor.”

Another change that occurred on Henry’s watch, she said, was the renovation of the sanctuary “to make it more inclusive, more accommodating for people with disabilities.”

While “it’s not perfect,” she said, because the ark isn’t accessible to everybody, congregants can access the reading table more easily. Ramps on either side were installed, and “we lowered the bimah down so it’s more accessible — but it also brought the rabbis closer to the congregation, which is something that I wanted.”

Another project Henry shepherded was renovation of the chapel.

“It used to be everybody’s favorite room that they never used,” she said. People might remark they were married there, but hadn’t used the space since because “it was a very uncomfortable room. It had hard benches. It was very dark. So I thought, well, let’s make it a room that everybody loves, that we can actually use.”

The room is brighter now. The benches were removed and replaced with movable furniture, allowing for flexibility. The room can be totally empty, or chairs can be arranged in rows, or the seats can be placed in a circle “so the clergy is right there,” Henry said.

Those improvements “are more than just architectural. They really speak to a different kind of service, where people are closer together. You can hear each other when you’re in the chapel — you can actually hear other people’s voices — and it sounds wonderful, even if there are only 15 people.”

The room in which she was speaking with the Chronicle was yet another example.

“This room has historically been occupied by the senior rabbi, and now it’s a communal room where people could have meetings, where there’s always food, where the library is free.

“And they’re naming this room after me,” she said.

Henry acknowledged that she is “just a different kind of rabbi than has ever been here before.” She recalled Eric Lidji, director of the Rauh Jewish History Program & Archives, asking to archive her papers.

“First of all, it makes me laugh that my papers would be in any kind of archives,” Henry said, “but secondly, what he wanted was interesting to me. He wants my correspondence — in other words, letters that people have written to me.

“When I talked to him about it, I said, ‘You know, other rabbis have their books, their scholarly articles, and I have letters from people telling me very personal things about how they felt, about how I did their parent’s funeral or their weddings. And I said to him, ‘It makes me feel a little awkward.’ And he said, ‘No, no, really, it speaks to the kind of rabbi you are, and I think it’s really important to have that in the archives.’”

When she joked with Lidji, saying that she had letters rather than scholarly articles or books of sermons because “I’m the girl rabbi,” he responded, “No, it’s because you’re approachable and make a difference in people’s lives.’”

Her career has taught her that the rabbinate is not about the rabbi, but about how the rabbi impacts others.

“What I’ve really learned over my years in the rabbinate is that it’s not about me,” she said. “It’s about how I make other people feel, what I can help other people learn, how they should be walking out of something I do, talking about an idea or something that affected them.”

It wasn’t an easy lesson to learn. Early in her career, she observed senior rabbis who were the center of attention, who would be the topic of congregants’ conversations. When she came to Pittsburgh, though, she found that people were not talking about her — because if you do it right, it’s not about you.

“And so now, for example, if I do a funeral and people feel comforted, or feel like we honored their loved one, that’s the important part,” Henry said. “Or if they come to a sermon and they have a new idea or a new way of either thinking about something in a different way, that’s what I would consider to be a success.”

Henry is leaving Rodef Shalom as the congregation is preparing to unify with Temple Sinai.

That’s by design.

“I actually planned my retirement to make it easier for the transition,” she said. “And as much as it’s an exciting opportunity, and as much as I’m a flexible thinker, I think it’s time for the next generation or iteration of leadership to take over.

“So now I think it’s a good time for me to figure out what the next part of my life will look like, and let a different generation lead this new charge.”

As for the next chapter of her life, Henry plans to give herself six months to figure that out, but suspects it will a part-time position connected to Judaism or a nonprofit.

Henry will be honored by Rodef Shalom on Shabbat, June 13-14, during a series of events, featuring artist-in-residence Dan Nichols. The weekend will include services, music, Torah study and a special Havdalah service at Frick Park.

The first winner of the Rabbi Sharyn H. Henry Social Justice Award also will be announced. PJC

Toby Tabachnick can be reached at ttabachnick@pittsburghjewishchronicle.org.