How do we know?

Every year Jews read the same parshiot in the same order. Yet every year, each parashah is a new experience. Why? Because our circumstances have changed and we ourselves have changed, and are still changing, in ways we may not be aware of.

This fourth parashah begins with a straightforward statement that raises many questions: “YHVH appeared (va-yera) to him by the trees of Mamre…” (v.1). From the preceding narrative, we understand that “him” is Abraham. But how did YHVH appear? There is no thunder or earthquake. Instead, when Abraham “looked up” (va-yar), what he saw was three strange men approaching him (v.2). What does Abraham think at that moment? Unexpectedly his world has just changed. He’s uncertain: What do I do now? Who are these strangers? How should I act toward them? Should I be afraid of them? Should I trust that they mean well?

Abraham chooses to act from trust, and his trust is rewarded. He welcomes the three strangers into his home and treats them hospitably. They in turn give Abraham and his wife Sarah very good news: Sarah will be able to birth a child.
In the next part of the narrative, the mood darkens. As the three visitors prepare to travel on to Sodom, YHVH reveals a plan to completely destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah “because their sin is so grave.” (vss. 17-21) Does Abraham overhear YHVH’s soliloquy? Do his three visitors hear it as well? Are those men the ones voicing it to Abraham? Unclear. But somehow they all know what’s going to happen.

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After the men have left for Sodom, Abraham “remains standing before YHVH.” He is afraid that the punishment for Sodom and Gomorrah will be too harsh, and argues with YHVH: If there are even a few good people there, shouldn’t they be saved? He’s successful: YHVH agrees to modify the plan. Was YHVH secretly uncertain as well? Unclear. In the ensuing disaster, Abraham’s nephew Lot and part of Lot’s family, who lived in Sodom, are among the few who escape safely — aided by two “divine messengers.” Were these two of the three men who had visited Abraham?

We next meet Abraham as he travels with his family. Their path leads through the kingdom of Gerar. It is a fraught moment: Abraham doesn’t know these people; he fears for his safety and that of his family. What should he do? How should he act? Abraham decides to tell the inhabitants that Sarah is his sister — not his wife. King Abimelech is attracted to Sarah, assumes she’s available, and has her “brought to him.” But YHVH intervenes and, in a dream, accuses Abimelech of sin regarding Sarah “because she is a married woman.” Abimelech counters that he is blameless, because Abraham had not spoken truthfully. YHVH agrees that Abimelech “did this with a blameless heart.” Abimelech then confronts Abraham: Why did you lie about Sarah’s status? Abraham admits that he lied due to fear. Because of his dream, Abimelech realizes that Abraham is a prophet of YHVH and suggests reconciliation. The two make a pact to trust each other and swear an oath of peace at Beer-Sheva; Abraham settles his family there. In this encounter between Abraham and King Abimelech we see again the emotional tug-of-war between fearing strangers and trusting them, heightened during times of uncertainty.

The story that follows is set in Beer-Sheva and focuses on Sarah’s relationship with Hagar, Abraham’s other wife, both of whom now have a child. Sarah was promised that her son, Isaac, will be the favored one. But she fears that Hagar’s son, Ishmael, who is older than Isaac, will take Isaac’s inheritance. She demands that Abraham banish Hagar and her son from their home. We read: “This matter distressed Abraham greatly, for it concerned a son of his.” Once more, an uncertain moment: What should Abraham do? Follow his own heart’s wish? Accede to Sarah’s demand? Abraham does send Hagar and Ishmael away. As they wander in the wilderness, Hagar’s tearful anxiety increases: She fears Ishmael will die. But YHVH asks her to trust that YHVH will “make a great nation of him.” Enabled to “open her eyes,” Hagar sees a nearby well with water, saving both mother and son.

The parashah’s dramatic final story of the binding of Isaac also involves the interplay of fear and trust in moments of uncertainty. YHVH tells Abraham to take his beloved son Isaac up to a hill and sacrifice him as a “burnt offering.” Abraham obeys the instructions, but doesn’t tell Isaac that he’s part of the plan. Isaac grows fearful: “Where is the sheep for the burnt offering?” Abraham does not assuage Isaac’s fear: He only says “YHVH will provide” the offering. Tension builds as Abraham ties Isaac to the altar. Just as Abraham raises his knife over Isaac, a divine messenger stops him from carrying out the sacrifice. Abraham’s trust in YHVH is rewarded: A ram becomes the burnt offering instead.
But what about Isaac? Was he ever able to regain trust that his father wouldn’t try to hurt him again? The text relates that “Abraham returned to his servants,” but says nothing further about Isaac’s whereabouts or emotional state.

Uncertainty — that slippery, disorienting feeling — is a clear theme throughout this parashah. And this year, it permeates our modern lives as well. We’re all asking: What do we do now? How do we know? These Torah stories teach that in times of uncertainty, acting out of fear can push us into untenable situations; the decisions we make may endanger those we love and hurt us as well. We learn that trust between individuals, between communities, or between whole societies, isn’t automatic; it must be earned. These stories show how important honesty, kindly intentions and fairness are in navigating the complexities and uncertainties of life — as true now as in ancient times. PJC

Rabbi Doris J. Dyen is the spiritual leader for the independent Makom HaLev community. This column is a service of the Greater Pittsburgh Jewish Clergy Association.