Last week, the Chronicle asked its readers in an electronic poll the following question: “Is it your High Holiday custom to approach friends and family to apologize for hurt you have caused?” Of the 169 people who responded, 56% said, “No”; 39% said, “Yes, in person and individually”; and 5% said, “Yes, en masse on social media.” Comments were submitted by 24 people. A few follow.
I did apologize for my past to some people. It was a good thing to do. It made a huge difference.
I feel it’s disingenuous. I endeavor to do better year round not just now.
I apologize throughout the year. I make three attempts.
Since I do not see my friends very often, I do a hybrid of face-to-face and in-person. I always feel better for making the apologies, even though it is probably the most awkward thing I do every year.
It’s not easy, but always good.
I don’t wait for once a year. I apologize, if necessary, as soon as possible.
This past year I didn’t cause any hurt, thankfully.
This need to apologize does occur on the High Holidays, but it is also a part of my daily life. If I am aware that I have inadvertently hurt someone, I will go out of my way to express my regret for my actions. I believe that treating others with respect matters — and that I have the moral responsibility to be accountable for my actions.
I am very careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings all year, therefore I never have to apologize for
anything. If I can’t say something nice to someone, I don’t say anything at all.
It requires one’s ego to be squashed, but it’s necessary. PJC