Chronicle poll results: Apologizing during High Holidays
PollOur readers share their views

Chronicle poll results: Apologizing during High Holidays

We asked our readers if it is their High Holiday custom to apologize for hurt they have caused. Here's what they said.

Last week, the Chronicle asked its readers in an electronic poll the following question: “Is it your High Holiday custom to approach friends and family to apologize for hurt you have caused?” Of the 169 people who responded, 56% said, “No”; 39% said, “Yes, in person and individually”; and 5% said, “Yes, en masse on social media.” Comments were submitted by 24 people. A few follow.

I did apologize for my past to some people. It was a good thing to do. It made a huge difference.

I feel it’s disingenuous. I endeavor to do better year round not just now.

I apologize throughout the year. I make three attempts.

Since I do not see my friends very often, I do a hybrid of face-to-face and in-person. I always feel better for making the apologies, even though it is probably the most awkward thing I do every year.

It’s not easy, but always good.

I don’t wait for once a year. I apologize, if necessary, as soon as possible.

This past year I didn’t cause any hurt, thankfully.

This need to apologize does occur on the High Holidays, but it is also a part of my daily life. If I am aware that I have inadvertently hurt someone, I will go out of my way to express my regret for my actions. I believe that treating others with respect matters — and that I have the moral responsibility to be accountable for my actions.

I am very careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings all year, therefore I never have to apologize for
anything. If I can’t say something nice to someone, I don’t say anything at all.

It requires one’s ego to be squashed, but it’s necessary. PJC

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