Celebrating Tu B’Av
Our readers share their love stories
Tu B’Av (the 15th day of Av) is often referred to as the Jewish day of love. It falls this year on Aug. 18-19. Historically, it was a day of joy and a matchmaking day for unmarried women in the Second Temple period. While the holiday was almost unnoticed for centuries, its significance as a day of love was rekindled in modern times.
The Chronicle asked readers to share their own stories of love in celebration of Tu B’Av. Here are the submissions we received, in the lovers’ own words.
Carole: Our love story of over 60 years is truly one made in heaven. David and I first met when I was 15 and he was 16 at a B’nai B’rith Youth Organization teen event. Both of us were born and raised in the Pittsburgh area and both our families kept kosher homes. We waited until I had completed nursing school and David had completed college to marry.
We both pursued our careers and were delighted when I became pregnant. However, unfortunately, our first pregnancy ended when the baby died at birth. David, while grieving himself, was my strong supporter, assuring me we would one day have the family we desperately wanted. The following year I gave birth to our son, Jim. David was a wonderful father and spent so much of his time with his son. He could be seen on the baseball field as Jim’s Little League coach. The same was true when our daughter, Marci, was born. He attended every activity she was involved in, whether it was cheering her on for the JCC swim team or at her gymnastics meets.
Unfortunately, a few decades later I developed cancer twice. David was an awesome supporter, even suggesting “chemo dates” where he would bring a movie to watch during my long treatments. He became caregiver, housekeeper and overall protector of my health.
David also found time to serve his community on numerous board committees and being president of several organizations at the same time. His grandchildren also became the center of his life as he role modeled his generous caring ways. Both Ian and Carly Caplan also became leaders in the Pittsburgh Jewish community!
As I write this, we have retired to Florida, leaving our beloved Pittsburgh. Once again, I have been plagued by cancer. David is here providing me with his warm caring support daily. He is my No. 1 cheerleader for improving my health, along with my children and grandchildren.
For all of these reasons I am so proud and happy that I chose to marry him over 60 years ago. Through all the good times and bad he has proved to be the best husband ever and I shall always be grateful to God for creating this union.
Joel: In January 1974, when I was in ninth grade, a friend told me he was moving to Florida and that I would be having a going away party for him. He came with three others, including Reesa Trachtenberg, his 17-year old friend. Reesa and I hit it off and have been in love ever since.
We married in 1982 and have one wonderful daughter and son-in-law.
To this day, we still gaze at each other like newlyweds.
Yafa Negrete and Eduardo Schñadower
Yafa: My husband and I met at a kibbutz in the south of Israel near Gaza in 2001. It is a tradition among Mexican Jews to spend a year in Israel after finishing high school. The people who are part of a Zionist Jewish movement (tnuat noar) go to a program that includes volunteering at a kibbutz, and then study at Kiriat Moria in Jerusalem. I was part of Hashomer Hatzair and he was part of Hanoar Hatzioni.
We got married in 2012. It was a beautiful ceremony with around 300 guests, which is common for a Mexican Jewish wedding. Our honeymoon was in Playa Del Carmen, a beach on the Caribbean Sea, with an unexpected dinner and a Chabad sheba brachos.
In 2015, our first daughter was born and in 2016 my husband was accepted to a doctorate program at Carnegie Mellon University. We have been living in Pittsburgh since then. In 2017 we were blessed with our second child.
In 2019 I started a master’s degree in interdisciplinary design at Chatham University. Now I’m working at the JCC as a graphic designer in its marketing department.
My husband’s birthday is on Aug. 13, 4 Elul, and this was a perfect opportunity to show him how much he means to me.
He is smart and patient and is my best friend, too. Sometimes I feel like I am a hurricane, because I’m energetic and very sensitive, but he calms me down and has the best advice in the world.
Our kids are on the autism spectrum, and sometimes I worry about their future. My husband is always positive and assures me that they will be independent and happy.
Before starting my master’s, I had postpartum depression, and he supported me in getting my master’s and applying for a job, even though our son was very young and the pandemic hit in the middle of my studies. This changed my life forever.
I am fortunate to have a loving husband, who is always willing to help me, the community and everyone around him. He’s a kind soul and my best friend and one of the smartest people I know.
Michele: My husband and I met “on stage” in an operetta in which we were both performing. Though we came from very different backgrounds, we had the same values. I loved that religion was important to him. Later, he fully supported my long journey to becoming a Reform cantor. At 43 years, we are still going strong!
Benda and Barry Werber
This story was taken from interview, with permission, from a recording by Hillary Green, published on Story Corps Archive.
Brenda and Barry Werber have been married 51 years. Although they traveled in the same social circles, they only knew each other in passing, until they met one night at a bowling alley, where they were each bowling with different organizations. Barry, whose first wife had passed away, was dating someone else at the time — someone his mother did not approve of because of the way she treated Barry’s young son, Steve. (Steve passed away earlier this year.)
Barry drove Brenda home that night and they sat in the car in front of Brenda’s house talking for hours. The next morning, Brenda told her parents, “I think I met the guy I’m going to marry.”
The relationship was sealed when the two met again at a singles’ dance held at Poale Zedeck, where they danced every dance together.
Barry’s mother was thrilled with Brenda because Brenda was so kind to Steve.
When asked what about Barry has made her life more enriching, Brenda responded, “His love for me, which he tells me every day almost.”
When Barry was asked to thank Brenda for something, he responded, “Thank you for being you, for being the greatest mother my son could ever have and for accepting my faults as well as my good points. And I love you to pieces.” PJC
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