A yearlong checklist for b’nai mitzvah planning
By getting an early head start, you can square away some of the more challenging aspects of event planning and leave plenty of time to take care of smaller details.
Planning your child’s b’nai mitzvah can be intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. By getting an early head start, you can square away some of the more challenging aspects of event planning and leave plenty of time to take care of smaller details.
Here are some ideas for when to take care of certain aspects of a b’nai mitzvah, so you can have as much fun as your child on their big day instead of stressing out.
A year (or more) before:
Determine your budget: The entirety of party planning will be dependent on how big your budget is. With a larger budget, you can have a great deal of flexibility when choosing a venue, entertainment and other services; while a smaller budget means that there are less individual services to worry about.
Plan a guest list: The amount of people you invite will influence how big of a venue you need, how much food and how much themed merch you need to order if that’s something you’re interested in. Make sure you have your guests’ addresses and contact information to send them save-the-dates and invitations.
Pick a theme: It’s your child’s big day, so they should be able to pick a theme that reflects their interests, talents and who they are as a person.
Hire a planner: If you have space in the budget for it, an event planner can take a lot of the pressure off of you by suggesting catering services, handling decorations and more.
10-plus months before:
Research venues: Consider the type of atmosphere you might want to have. If you want to spend a portion of the event outside, venues with outdoor spaces might be ideal. For a classier affair, a hotel or catering hall can provide that atmosphere. Some public spaces, like aquariums and museums, even offer space rentals for parties.
Research and hire vendors: Catering is always a must, and while some venues have their own catering services, others do not. Reaching out to other vendors, such as photographers, DJs and entertainers, gives them plenty of time to prepare for the event.
Choose a b’nai mitzvah project: Start brainstorming with your child about how they can use their b’nai mitzvah to do good in the community. You can search for volunteer opportunities relating to their interests, or identify a social issue they’re passionate about.
Six to nine months before:
Order and send out save-the-dates: While they’re not official invitations, save-the-dates inform people about your child’s b’nai mitzvah in advance. This can be especially helpful if they need to travel, so they have time to make plans.
Pick out invitations: Since these are official, they’re usually much more elaborate than save-the-dates. You should mail them out two or three months before the event.
Research decorations and rentals: If you have a planner, they might be able to take care of this for you, but if not, it’s a smart idea to identify a business that can make party decorations. You may also need to rent supplies including tents, tables and photo booths.
Three to six months before:
Put together a photo montage: Start looking through those baby photos so you can put together a video to be shown at the event.
Pick out attire: Visit a formalwear shop to pick out suits and dresses. As the event approaches, you can get them tailored to fit you better.
Do a menu tasting: Sample dishes from your chosen caterer to determine what goes on the menu. Make sure to include dishes that the guests like, but also ones that the b’nai mitzvah likes. It’s also important to consider kosher and vegetarian/vegan options if any of your guests have particular dietary needs.
Two months before:
Plan a candle-lighting ceremony: Pick out which family and friends will be lighting each of the 13 candles. To make the ceremony easier, you and your child can write a script for it — rhyming couplets and short poems are a common format.
Book transportation: While some of your guests may drive to the synagogue for the official b’nai mitzvah ceremony, others may have flown in or have been dropped off by their parents. Booking transportation, such as private buses, can make the trip from the ceremony to the reception much smoother.
Order dessert: Don’t forget the cake!
One month before:
Book hair and makeup appointments: You want to be sure that you and your child both look your best for your child’s special day.
Do a b’nai mitzvah rehearsal: Some synagogues will hold b’nai mitzvah rehearsals so participating families can familiarize themselves with the format of the service, and so the b’nai mitzvah has time to practice reading their Torah portion in front of an audience.
Plan seating arrangements: Determine which of your guests will be sitting where. It’s common to have one large table for all of the children, but when seating family and adult friends together, consider who knows each other when planning seating. When you’re done, be sure to send it to the venue so they can have seating ready on the big day.
One week before:
Finalize everything!: Make sure that everything is prepared, and if there are any last-minute changes that need to be made, inform your vendors or the venue.
Set aside tips: It’s common courtesy to tip vendors for their hard work. Sorting tips before the event makes it easier to give them out, so you don’t have to worry about it after the fact.
De-stress: Get some rest before the b’nai mitzvah! You’ve earned it. PJC
Jillian Diamond writes for the Washington Jewish Week, an affiliated publication where this first appeared.
comments