A starting point for deeper reflection and conversation

There is a common lament — at least in communities where it’s common — when a b. mitzvah’s Torah reading falls on an “uncool” parsha. Relatives might say, “Oy, poor kid, they have to read about owning slaves!” Some parents even choose a different Shabbat for a more glamorous Torah portion. But I want to challenge us to move away from this reaction to the less Hallmark-movie sections of our sacred text.

The Torah is complicated. It contains romance, war, transitions of power, and difficult moments for leaders and those they serve. Yet how we react, respond and interpret these texts is entirely in our hands. It is up to us — the rabbis, cantors, educators and parents — to shape how we teach these so-called “uncool” passages to our children.

So how do we take the long list of complex laws in Parshat Mishpatim and make them relevant for young learners? The answer is the same as with any challenging topic: Approach the conversation with them, not at them. Show up with vulnerability. Be OK with saying, “I don’t know.” Acknowledge the difficulty of the text and use it as an opportunity to instill Jewish values that shape your home and community. Create a space where questioning and wrestling with Torah is not only allowed but encouraged.

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When guiding parents on how to approach their child’s Torah reading, I encourage them to sit with their b. mitzvah child and explore the parsha together. Make the setting comfortable — everyone well-fed, rested and in an environment conducive to learning. Meeting physical needs allows for deeper engagement, even with difficult conversations.

Parshat Mishpatim presents 27 laws spanning civil, criminal, moral and ritual concerns, concluding with a covenant and divine promise. We can either see this as 27 dry legal rulings — or, as Rabbi Shai Held taught in his recent visit to Pittsburgh, we can engage with p’sak halacha (legal ruling) as a starting point for deeper reflection and conversation, specifically during difficult times.

Take the first law: An Israelite slave must be freed in the seventh year (Exodus 21:2–6). This passage can be uncomfortable, as it shatters the illusion that Jews have always treated each other with absolute love and respect. Some may argue that this law mitigates mistreatment, placing boundaries on servitude. But the real power of this mitzvah lies in the questions it raises: Why is this in the Torah? What does it mean to be part of a history where our ancestors owned slaves?

This conversation naturally extends beyond ancient Israel. It allows us to discuss during Black History Month, Jewish involvement in slavery in America — both those who owned slaves and those who fought for abolition. Importantly, the mitzvah does not command ownership of a slave; rather, it legislates humane treatment within a world where slavery existed. This nuance can spark meaningful discussions on ethical workplaces, fair treatment and boundaries — core Jewish values embedded in this week’s text.

Shifting our perspective on these laws — from a lament about an “unfortunate” Torah portion to an opportunity for learning and enriching Jewish values in our homes — models for our children a deep love for Torah and for the child. It shows them that even the most difficult mitzvot contain language that shapes our moral landscape. It teaches them that we, as their guides, care deeply about their curiosity and growth. And ultimately, it prepares them to become the thoughtful, compassionate leaders our world so desperately needs.

Fortunate is the child whose b. mitzvah falls out on this week’s Torah reading and blessed are their parents and educators who have helped them grapple with the texts.

Shabbat shalom. PJC

Rabbi Hindy Finman is senior director of Jewish Life and director of the Center for Loving Kindness at the Jewish Community Center of Greater Pittsburgh. This column is a service of the Greater Pittsburgh Jewish Clergy Association.