The well within us

How many times do we have to hear something before it sinks in? Conventional wisdom is that we have to be given information — verbally or in written form — an average of seven times before we are able to commit it to memory or feel compelled to act on it. Seven times. That is a lot, especially when the story just seems to be repeated over and over.

At first glance, that appears to be what happens in the book of Deuteronomy — the fifth and final book of the Torah that we begin this Shabbat. The name “Deuteronomy” means “second telling,” and that is essentially what this is — a retelling of all the events that have transpired between the Exodus and the biblical now, as the people camp at the edge of the Jordan, preparing to cross into the Promised Land. It is repetitive and the people have heard it all before. Speech after speech … fitting for this book that in Hebrew is known as Devarim (words).

But the telling is different this time. Why? It’s not in the details — the story basically remains the same, although a few minor details may have changed as is wont to happen when left to the human mind to be remembered. This telling is different, and it’s not because of the listeners; many of those present have heard it all before or even lived through it. Why then is this telling different? Because of the speaker. Finally, we hear Moses’ voice.

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But haven’t we been hearing Moses’ voice all along? Yes and no.

Up to this point, when Moses addressed the people Israel, it was God speaking through Moses. Moses was merely repeating what he was told to say. His words were not actually his own. But here, in the book of Deuteronomy, in this telling, it seems that it is not God but Moses himself speaking directly to the people.

Without a doubt, Moses as a main character in the story has come a long way since we first met him, in his encounter with God at the burning bush. He was the reluctant prophet needing serious convincing that he was the right man for the job. Only after being armed with his brother, Aaron, as both spokesperson and confidence booster, did Moses hesitantly set out to lead the people out of Egypt.

Fast forward 40 years and Moses is a changed person. In our tradition, the wilderness is thought of as the place of Israel’s adolescence. They needed to “grow up,” to grow into peoplehood. Moses also experienced this period of internal growth. For him, it was an opportunity to grow and develop from someone who did not trust in his own voice, to one who was able to deliver speech after speech to his community.

It really is an incredible transformation. In essence, Moses is no longer the man who was “never good with words.” He is now the prophet who seizes the moment and speaks directly to the people and to God. Moses has finally found his voice.

There is evidence of this in our Torah portion: “B’ever ha’Yarden b’eretz Moav ho’il Moshe be’er et hatorah hazot …” (Deut. 1:5) It is usually translated as “On the far side of the Jordan, in the land of Moab, Moses undertook to explain this Torah.” But there may be another way to understand it.

The verb be’er in our verse means “explain, expound, elucidate.” But be’er can also be used as a noun, meaning “a well.” Thus, we could understand it as, “On the far side of the Jordan, in the land of Moab, this Torah welled up in Moses.”

Words of Torah welled up in Moses — he becomes the wellspring of divine wisdom and inspiration. The teachings flow out from his lips, and he is no longer at a loss for words.

We learn a lot from Moses and his journey through the wilderness. He struggled— as so many of us have — to overcome an obstacle in his path. He successfully turned his weakness with words into a strength that was deep and lasting. And he proved that it is never too late to find one’s voice, to speak up and speak out. Moses was nearly 120 years old when “Torah welled up within him.” It is my guess that if he could do it at his advanced age, we too can grow and develop at our age — whatever it may be.

As we look back at the trajectory of Moses’ life we see how he grew to overcome his fear of words. Perhaps we too can remember and identify ways we have grown, and weaknesses that we’ve turned to strengths. Perhaps we can pinpoint those moments when everything clicked and “Torah welled up” within us

This week as we begin the book of Deuteronomy, we find the retelling of our people’s story in Moses’ words. It can also be the retelling of our own story in our own words. This week and every week, may we remember that we all have a voice. May we use it to speak out about what is important to us, to lend strength and confidence to our words. May we use the Torah that wells up inside us to let our voices tell our story. PJC

Rabbi Jessica Locketz is the lifelong learning coordinator at Congregation Ohev Beth Shalom in Youngstown, Ohio, and lives in Pittsburgh. This column is a service of the Greater Pittsburgh Jewish Clergy Association.