Remembering My Friend, Lindsey Graham

Lindsey Graham was a good man — funny, loving, patriotic, wise, hard-working, thoughtful and caring.

I met Lindsey Graham (LG to me) 20 years ago and we became friends. We sensed the same things in each other — the courage to express our opinions, even (especially?) when they are unpopular, a bottomless need to help our friends, love of a good laugh and an insatiable curiosity.

Yes, our friendship was strained during the Trump years. While I fully understood why Lindsey ingratiated himself to the president, it was often hard for me to witness or hear about. Yet my respect, admiration and enjoyment of LG never faded.

Lindsey was very smart. Not in an erudite way. In the way of someone who has suffered, scrapped, watched and thought. In the way of someone who has forged his own path and understands his own mind. In the way of someone who has deep empathy, allowing a special kind of wisdom. Despite his slow Southern drawl, his mind was extremely quick.

He had a challenging early life, living in the back of his family’s bar in tiny Central South Carolina, and grew up to be a man with a lust for travel and for understanding the world and its people. If he thought he could learn something or help someone, he put himself in strange, even dangerous, situations. He asked a lot of questions and listened to the answers, looking steadily into your eyes with his baby blues. He never lost deep gratitude and amazement for what he had been able to do and see over the course of his career.

And he had an incredible sense of humor, which helped him in life and in his career. I regularly found myself waiting for him to drop a brilliant line at the craziest moment. His humor was never mean, never meant to hurt, never braggadocios. It was just incisive, the speed of lightning and delivered in the strangest Southern accent. Sometimes the “incomprehensible” way he pronounced English words alone was enough to make me smile.

He fought for what he believed. Lindsey befriended Trump when he realized that was the only way to be in his ear. And we, the United States, desperately needed Lindsey Graham in Donald Trump’s ear.

Though the world can be, and is, a scary place for Jews, I feel a large measure of security knowing that Israel exists. Likewise, I always felt that Israel had a large measure of security with Lindsey in D.C.

And he had so much dignity. Even with no evidence, he was subjected to innuendo and accusations about his personal life yet never stooped to the level of his tormentors. He was a very, very good man.

LG picked interesting friends. He was the youngster of the “Three Amigos” (LG, John McCain and Joe Lieberman), a position he adored. I don’t think he ever recovered from the loss of John and Joe. After they died, he had a loneliness that never seemed to resolve.

Though he never refused a fight, Lindsey supported the “other” side when he knew it was right. He infuriated the conservative base when he voted to approve Justices Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor. He often said that Joe Biden is “the nicest man in Washington D.C.,” shedding real tears when Biden lost his son. He also admonished many supporters of Israel when he felt they were not giving proper recognition to President Barack Obama’s efforts on behalf of the Jewish state. And, of course, on a regular basis, he made the left crazy.

Lindsey Graham was a good man — funny, loving, patriotic, wise, hard-working, thoughtful and caring. Especially at this time, when we really need his courage, clarity and stability, his untimely death is devastating. Rest in peace, LG. May your memory always be a blessing. PJC

Cheryl Moore is a nurse and human research protection analyst at the University of Pittsburgh IRB. She lives in Squirrel Hill.