Lessons from emotional reunions

Genesis 44:18 – 47:27

In this week’s Torah portion, we encounter two deeply emotional moments of reunion.

The first occurs when Joseph is reunited with his brothers. The Torah describes a powerful scene: “Joseph fell upon the neck of his brother Benjamin and cried, and Benjamin cried upon his neck.” Given their long separation and the suffering each had endured, this reaction seems entirely natural. Two brothers, torn apart for decades, are finally reunited. Tears are to be expected. Yet tradition hears something deeper in the Torah’s words.

Rashi, citing the Talmud, explains that Joseph cried over the future destruction of the Temples that would stand in Benjamin’s territory, while Benjamin cried over the Mishkan of Shiloh that would one day stand in Joseph’s portion and later be destroyed. Their tears were directed outward, toward the future pain of the other.

Why did they not cry for themselves? The answer is instructive. In Jewish thought, one’s own challenges demand responsibility and action. When a difficulty is mine, I am expected to confront it, rebuild and move forward. Tears for oneself can easily become a substitute for effort. In the words of Rabbi Shalom Dovber of Lubavitch, “A single act is better than a thousand groans. Our G-d lives, and Torah and mitzvot are eternal; quit the groaning and work hard in actual service, and G-d will be gracious to you.”

Tears, by contrast, are appropriate when the situation lies beyond one’s direct control. When we see someone else’s struggle, our first response must be to help — to do all we can to assist, encourage and pray for them. The actual rectification, however, remains in their hands. When all efforts and encouragement have been exhausted and improvement does not come, tears become an expression of care and solidarity for pain that cannot be personally repaired.

This explains why Joseph and Benjamin cried only for each other. Joseph could not prevent the future destruction that would occur in Benjamin’s territory, nor could Benjamin avert what would later take place in Joseph’s portion.

There is another lesson here. If they were able to see prophetically that destruction would occur, why cry at all? What is the purpose of tears if the decree has already been set?

Here we learn that one must never give up. Prayer and sincere emotion have the power to change even a seemingly final decree. In the book of Kings II, chapter 20, the prophet Isaiah tells King Hezekiah that his life is coming to an end. Hezekiah turns to the wall, prays with a full heart, and weeps. G-d then sends Isaiah back with a new message: The decree has been overturned. Hezekiah’s life is extended, and the city is saved.

Joseph and Benjamin teach us that while our own challenges demand action and others’ pain calls for compassion, prayer and effort are never wasted, and no future is beyond hope.

The second reunion occurs when Jacob meets Joseph. Here the Torah tells us that “Joseph fell upon Jacob’s neck and wept upon his neck repeatedly.” Rashi observes, “But Jacob did not fall upon Joseph’s neck nor kiss him. Our Sages said that he was reciting the Shema.”

Recently, we had the honor of hearing former hostage Eli Sharabi describe his harrowing experience. One of the moments he recounted was reciting the Shema while lying on the floor of a terrorist’s car and then again and again, during captivity, almost unconsciously. He added, “I have not stopped saying it every day ever since.”

Historically, we have seen that the natural cry of a Jew in a moment of danger is to recite the Shema. What Jacob teaches us, and what Eli exemplifies, is that even when we witness miracles, Jacob reunited with Joseph, Eli freed from captivity, we continue to recite the Shema and recognize the hand of G-d in all that we experience. PJC

Rabbi Yisroel Altein is the spiritual leader of Chabad of Squirrel Hill. This column is a service of Vaad Harabonim of Greater Pittsburgh.