Play and playwright push men to befriend more men
'Maybe we just don't have it all together, and we need the support of friends' — Darrin Friedman
Darrin Friedman has a story to tell. It resembles his own, though the playwright is quick to differentiate the narratives.
In the fictionalized tale — the one audiences will see at Carnegie Stage between Jan. 23-26 — Seth, a quiet middle-aged Jewish novelist, navigates life following his initial success. Seth’s earlier professional glory has faded following a series of setbacks; thanks to newfound friendship with other middle-aged men, however, Seth learns to maneuver through hardship.
In real life, Friedman’s story is a bit different.
Years ago, the Upper Saint Clair resident enjoyed a career in real estate. As an executive, a blogger and business owner, Friedman amassed industry success.
“I was good at it, but I wasn’t really happy doing it,” he said.
Like many people, the pandemic prompted Friedman, 50, to pause.
“Before COVID I was just climbing the ladder, doing all those things, and thinking money mattered more than anything else. And you know what? It really just doesn’t,” he said.
At age 47, Friedman returned to school. He pursued an MFA in writing for stage and screen at Point Park University, graduated and undertook a bevy of creative activity. In an almost three-year span, Friedman wrote three screenplays and five plays — including “Three Blind Mice,” the story about Seth and two other middle-aged men who become friends — and completed a 17-minute short film. He also launched a podcast for playwrights featuring interviews with established playwrights and recently released his 32nd episode.
He’s proud of his artistic achievements, but said there’s more to his story.
“I’m very lucky,” he said. “I have a wife I’ve been married to for almost 25 years and two children who are pretty amazing.”
Friedman’s older child is 21. Friedman’s son is 16.
“I’ve had time to really be involved in my kids’ lives,” he said. “I consider that a blessing…I’m at home with my son every day. And I get to experience that and everything that comes up: take the phone calls from the school, talk to the teachers.”
Friedman’s son is on the autism spectrum. The teen attends PA Distance Learning Charter School.
“He’s home all day, and I’m home all day with him,” Friedman said.
After his son begins morning classes, Friedman starts writing. Afternoons are dedicated to grocery shopping and meal prep. Evenings are for rehearsals.
“Every day I try to write something — I try to do something — that helps me be more in line with my objective of being a writer,” Friedman said.
The pursuit has led the Temple Emanuel of South Hills congregant to podcasting, designing websites and teaching.
“I do believe that creativity comes in all shapes and sizes,” he said.
Friedman is committed to expanding others’ understandings; in fact, it’s a desire that propels “Three Blind Mice.”
“I think that there’s this time in life right now, specifically in the world that we live in, where men are misunderstood,” he said. “Because we’re men, and we’re a certain age, and we’ve reached a certain point in our lives, we’re supposed to have it all together. But maybe we just don’t have it all together, and we need the support of friends.”
Friedman’s play pushes the trope by claiming that meaningful friendships between men aren’t limited to those originating in high school or college.
“I’m talking about friendships that you’ve made when you’re 50, and you’re able to really share and get support with other men,” he said. Attaining these relationships requires vulnerability, but leads to a “full healthy life.”
Close friendships and healthy social support foster longevity, according to the Mayo Clinic.
Though relevant for all adults, the findings are of particular note to men who’ve experienced a decades-long decline in friendships.
The Survey Center on American Life, a project of the American Enterprise Institute, reported that between 1990 and 2020 the percentage of men with at least six close friends fell from 55% to 27%.
Friedman said he’s fortunate for what he has, yet is open to change.
Creating and relying on nurturing relationships means he might reenter the traditional workforce, he said. Perhaps his podcast will attract countless listeners from across the globe.
Wherever the narrative winds isn’t determined for him or anyone, he continued. “It’s never too late to chase your dream — ever, never, ever too late to chase your dream. If you believe in yourself, you can pretty much do anything.” PJC
Adam Reinherz can be reached areinherz@pittsburghjewishchronicle.org.
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